Jim Babb, Twitter…er… extrordinaire posed a very interesting question, just a few minutes ago.

jimbabb: Wondering what health care system would be like if it was run by the Yankees?

Well, Mr. Babb, here’s how I see this breaking down.

The Yankees would immediately put “scouts,” as they were, in various cities around the country. Even one in Canada. Toronto, to be specific. They’d stick with larger cities, like LA(2 there, though one insists he’s in “Anaheim”), Chicago(2 again, one in the north part of town, one south), Pittsburgh, etc.

These “scouts” would keep an eye on general practice doctors, surgeons, and specialists and look for the ones who stood out. They’d find the young, hotshot doctors who thrill everyone with their limited experience, but big performances in one or two spots.

After the “scouts” find these guys, the healthcare administrators(or HCA) would send out their goons to find out just how much these doctors are making. When the doctors are eligible to leave the hospital they’re at, they’d wait until everyone else made offers to the doctors, and they’d swoop in with a contract and money no other hospital could hope to match/surpass.

Now- here’s where it gets interesting: These doctors that the HCA bring in? Destined for failure. This is the highest paid group of doctors of any sort on the planet, but with the Yankees running the show- things go sour fast. Sure, they’ve got one Dr. Sabathia who can do open heart surgery with his eyes closed, but then there’s Dr. Burnett, with a slightly above .500 mortality rate among patients.  There are a few doctors who get their moment in the sun, like the specialist Chamberlain, who everyone heralds as the guy most likely to cure cancer, but winds up just being really good at putting in stitches, and awful if he’s allowed to do a whole surgery himself.

Bottom line- if the Yankees headed up the HCA:
1. The cost would be astronomical.
2. Every time a patient died, the people wouldn’t blame the doctor, they’d want the Chief of Medicine’s head instead.
3. In the end, it would work GREAT, but people would still hate it because the employees(fans) of the hospital are irritating, arrogant, clueless, and don’t realize there’s life beyond those four walls.

That is what the healthcare system would be like if it were run by the Yankees.

Alex Rodriguez is a prolific opposite-field home run hitter.  He’s one of those guys, who as a right-handed hitter, made his career in home runs hitting over the right field wall.  Typically, a right-handed hitter will hit to left field, pulling the ball, allowing more momentum to be gained behind the bat.  A lefty will hit to right field more often than not.  It’s just easier to pull the ball.  A-Rod, as of June 11th, 2009 has 561 home runs in a little over 2000 games.  You can wager the majority of his homers have been opposite-field hits.

Just this season, the Yankees opened the new Yankee Stadium.  Over a billion dollars was poured in to make this new Yankee Stadium.  The stadium features what many say is the best scoreboard in sports.  It’s considered to be one of the best stadiums in the world.  The new stadium has received its fair share of criticism as well.

The nicer seats are ridiculously expensive.  For that matter, there are partially obstructed view seats that cost up into the hundreds.  People in over 1000 seats won’t see the whole field.  Colin Cowherd recently commented on the situation saying that if you’re at a game, and have to say, “Did Damon make the catch?”  “Well, I think so,” something is wrong.  Stubhub.com has a listing of the obstructed seats per the Yankees themselves.

105.  105 home runs have been hit out at Yankee Stadium this season, as of June 9th.  That’s through 28 home games so far.  3.75 per game.  It’s a ridiculous number.  People are trashing on the stadium because of all of the home runs, engineers are scratching their heads as to why, and the staff in the Yankees front office have no answers.

It’s simple: the Yankees want A-Rod to break the all time homerun record.  Rodriguez is their golden boy.  When the stadium was designed, it was made to be a homerun park.  It’s intentional.  It’s a conspiracy.  I personally don’t want A-Rod to hold the record- why?  I don’t like the Yankees.  Moreso, I don’t like the fact that he’s playing dumb about the steroids issue(I’m not pardoning Bonds/McGwire/anyone else on juice, but that’s a whole different can of worms).  He comes off cocky, and it’s been reported he’s not exactly the best locker room guy for his teammates.

Sports is full of conspiracy these days, from A-Rod’s own personal bandbox to Kobe Bryant’s missing 5 freethrows in game 3 of the NBA Finals earlier this week.  Something has to be done!  Someone needs to stand up and say something!  The fix is in, and it needs to be stopped!  David Stern and Bud Selig need to provide answers right now.

But… there is this wacky thought I had before I started writing this.

What if- and this is a BIG what if- Alex Rodriguez really is just that good?  What if he’s able to break the homerun record without the homeruns Yankee Stadium just seem to hand him?  Furthermore, what if Kobe is actually human? What we’re seeing with these two athletes, among others, is a couple of guys at the top of the top, who are succeeding, or in Kobe’s case, having an off night.

I’ll say this as loudly as possible: THERE IS NO CONSPIRACY IN SPORTS.  Think about it- would the Yankees really build a homerun park just for A-Rod, a guy they have no guarantee will finish his career there?  Would Kobe really shave points knowing it could end his career and keep him out of the hall of fame he’s bound for if he’s caught?  Why risk blowing the series, losing the championship?

The problem here is when you’re really, really good- people don’t like you.  Mostly because you beat their team.  The Orlando Magic’s fans hate Kobe- but if you told them the day after they likely lose the finals to the Lakers that Kobe is coming to play for Orlando, the whole tune changes.  Guys in Boston wish horrible things on A-Rod.  Tell them he’s their new 3rd baseman, and they’ll take him out for a round of beeahs.  There are people who still don’t like Mike.  Had Jordan gone to Detroit in 1993 when he returned, he’d be their best friend.  Gretzky playing for Montreal?  Their new hero.

Too many people are quick to say sports are fixed.  Sometimes the games change, the players change, the referees miss the calls- but sometimes, our superheroes are very human.  If you think the fix is in on the NBA Finals, I strongly advise you to tune in tonight.  Let’s count the FTs Kobe misses, shall we?  Better yet- we’ll count a more exciting stat- his points as he comes unglued on the Magic tonight.  Love the game, love the sport, love the athlete.

Don’t be a theorist.

Be a fan.