Budweiser? And Clamato? Are you SERIOUS?
I had this truely epic post written earlier on this topic. But thanks to gmail notifier not opening my mail in a new tab like I’ve asked it nicely to do, I lost it all, so here we go again.
I live in a smallish town. According to census data, somewhere around 37k people live in New Albany. My company is ran by the same woman who owns the little bar/restaurant next door. I walk past it a couple times a week going to the little grocery store on the corner to get soda. Real Mayberry stuff. As I was walking down there the other day, I noticed a new neon sign in the window:
Immediately, I thought WTF? Is this a joke? Then I decided to Google that- and found out to my horror, that no, it’s real. I almost threw up right then and there. There’s a 50/50 shot you know what this stuff is. For those who don’t, keep reading.
Budweiser is obivious. “The King of Beers.” “The Great American Lager.” Everyone’s heard of Budweiser, right? Or at least a Bud Light. Let’s put it this way- you’re at the bar, you tell the bartender to get you “a beer,” you’re probably getting a Bud Light. If you need more explanation, just check out Google.
Clamato is a tomato drink- it consists mostly of tomato juice, and- yes- I’m going to say it- CLAM BROTH. That’s tomato juice and clam juice. Delicious, right? I remember the first time I saw someone open a bottle of it. I remember sniffing it. And I remember wretching at the scent of rotted fish. This stuff smells AWFUL, and I really doubt it tastes any better.
I myself needed more explanation on what exactly a Chelada was. I went to Wikipedia to find out more. As it turns out, a Chelada is a cocktail(a Michelada) made with beer. More accurately, this Chelada is a take on a Bloody Mary. In this case, beer replaces the vodka. Anyway- in the end, AB’s Chelada is Bud/Bud Light, Clamato, lime, and salt. Serve chilled, and keep a paper bag near-by. I decided to take this a step further and made a little rebus to fully show just what we’re dealing with here:
(Click for larger image)
In all fairness, I haven’t(and won’t) try it. But when things go badly for it on Beeradvocate.com it can’t be good- those guys will drink anything with a smile. Here are a couple of my favorite excerpts from the reviews there:
“…pond scum-like film of a head. The bouquet is that of rotting clams, fish and moldy tomatoes. This smell sort of reminds me of a backing up garbage disposal. The taste is only slightly worse, besides rotten clams and rancid tomatoes; I get puke, and bile.”
— likestoswallow
“smells like stale v-8 juice and a touch of campbells soup.taste like oh my god that shit is horrible.absolutely the worst stuff i have ever drank in my whole life.i wouldn’t wish that on my enemy’s.it reminded me of drinking bud light and throwing up pizza.stay very far away from this one if you know what is good for you.”
— rehabis4quitters
“Salty tomato with a clammy kick. I can’t really taste any actual beer flavors here, but Bud is pretty subtle stuff to begin with. Honestly, beer geekery aside, this is probably the worst beer I’ve ever tasted. It’s every bit as bad as I was hoping it would be, possibly even moreso. My quest to find the worst beer ever made has come to an end. Now to grab a couple cans to cellar…”
— largadeer
To me, it sounds like this stuff may be worse than an Irish Car Bomb(note this says, quote- “Drink quickly before it curdles.”) Had one of those at my bachelor party. Never, ever, EVER again.
In all fairness, it’s plain to see that there really are a handful of people who like this stuff. Beeradvocate has positive reviews for it. I’ll close by saying to those who DO like the Budweiser & Clamato Chelada— WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Kidding- if it’s for you, great. But then I wonder- what’s the worst drink you’ve ever had? *shudder*
10 quotes from sports commentators that they wish they could take back
1.Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic snatch and jerk event: “This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warmup and it was amazing.”
2.Ted Walsh, horse racing commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.”
3.Grand Prix race announcer: “The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is identical to the one in front of the similar one in back.”
4.Greg Norman, pro golfer: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”
5.Ringside boxing analyst: “Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing – but none of them really that serious.”
6.Baseball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”
7.Basketball analyst: “He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.”
8.At a trophy ceremony for a 1998 BBC TV boat race: “Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford Crew.”
9.Metro Radio, college football: “Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got 11 Dicks on the field.”
10.US Open TV commentator: “One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round his wife takes out his balls and kisses them…Oh my God, what have I just said?!!”
Credit to the original writer, George Greene, Boston Sports History Examiner
