What would the healthcare system be like if it was run by the Yankees?
Jim Babb, Twitter…er… extrordinaire posed a very interesting question, just a few minutes ago.
jimbabb: Wondering what health care system would be like if it was run by the Yankees?
Well, Mr. Babb, here’s how I see this breaking down.
The Yankees would immediately put “scouts,” as they were, in various cities around the country. Even one in Canada. Toronto, to be specific. They’d stick with larger cities, like LA(2 there, though one insists he’s in “Anaheim”), Chicago(2 again, one in the north part of town, one south), Pittsburgh, etc.
These “scouts” would keep an eye on general practice doctors, surgeons, and specialists and look for the ones who stood out. They’d find the young, hotshot doctors who thrill everyone with their limited experience, but big performances in one or two spots.
After the “scouts” find these guys, the healthcare administrators(or HCA) would send out their goons to find out just how much these doctors are making. When the doctors are eligible to leave the hospital they’re at, they’d wait until everyone else made offers to the doctors, and they’d swoop in with a contract and money no other hospital could hope to match/surpass.
Now- here’s where it gets interesting: These doctors that the HCA bring in? Destined for failure. This is the highest paid group of doctors of any sort on the planet, but with the Yankees running the show- things go sour fast. Sure, they’ve got one Dr. Sabathia who can do open heart surgery with his eyes closed, but then there’s Dr. Burnett, with a slightly above .500 mortality rate among patients. There are a few doctors who get their moment in the sun, like the specialist Chamberlain, who everyone heralds as the guy most likely to cure cancer, but winds up just being really good at putting in stitches, and awful if he’s allowed to do a whole surgery himself.
Bottom line- if the Yankees headed up the HCA:
1. The cost would be astronomical.
2. Every time a patient died, the people wouldn’t blame the doctor, they’d want the Chief of Medicine’s head instead.
3. In the end, it would work GREAT, but people would still hate it because the employees(fans) of the hospital are irritating, arrogant, clueless, and don’t realize there’s life beyond those four walls.
That is what the healthcare system would be like if it were run by the Yankees.
