Several years ago at a strip club in Louisville…
A couple of friends and I took one of our buddies out for his 21st birthday. We decided to go to the strip club, because that’s what single guys do, right?
State law in Kentucky states that if an exotic dancing establisment serves alcohol, they can only have topless dancers. The same joint with no booze can have full on nudity. Exposed hoo-ha and all. Anyway.
We chose a place called Trixie’s because A) all of the others suck(Deja Vu’s motto is “1000 beautiful girls and 3 ugly ones,” and I’ll wager the stats are backwards) and B) if nothing else, we go next door to Knockouts, get drunk, watch sports with topless waitresses.
We’d been at Trixie’s for about 30 minutes when birthday boy was getting restless, and went out for a smoke. In the meantime, he grabbed a couple of shots from Knockouts. This continued over a period of 2 hours or so, and finally he was totally smashed, wanted a lap dance, but he was broke. He started bothering us, asking for money for a dance that we weren’t going to give him.
After about 30 minutes of this, explaining we were worried he’d puke on the girl, we thought a table dance might quell his yearning for as he kept putting it- “boobs in my face.” It went well, so we thought, oh, what the hell, let’s get the dude a dance. I walked toward the VIP area with him, but stopped short of going into the room with him(I couldn’t anyway). He was in there for the first of his two songs when I heard an awful ruckus, and saw him come tearing out of the room, dancer still screaming behind him. I poked my head in the door to find he’s apparently slapped her rather hard on the ass. That’s a no-no. They can touch you, you can’t touch them. Period.
I then turned back to see him headed towards the door and to see him almost flipped upside down as a bouncer CLOTHESLINED him out of nowhere. I looked over to my friends at the table and they looked scared, and said you’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror- if anything I can say this cab is rare, but I thought ‘Nah forget it’ - ‘Yo homes to Bel Air’
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie ‘Yo homes smell ya later!’ I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
