Brett Favre needs a good old fashioned punch in the face
I sat down to try to think of something to write about tonight. I kept coming up empty. Then I started thinking- 12seconds.tv has a mini-app on their site dubbed the 12erator. It’s designed to give you things to 12 about. In case you’re unfamiliar with the site, it’s just what it sounds like- you have 12 seconds to vlog about anything you like. There are daily challenges and such, but most people seem to just treat it like Video Twitter. I digress.
The 12erator gave me some ideas I couldn’t think of anything for, and then, like magic- the perfect topic came up; “The Person Who Deserves To Be Punched In The Face The Most.” Now- I’m not going to nitpick, but that could easily be read as “what person deserves the most punches to the face.” I decided to compile a list of people who deserve to be punched in the face on a scale of 1 punch to 5 punches. Without further ado, the first person on my list is…
Brett Favre
No surprise. I know. Let’s make this one easy though.
I haven’t watched football my whole life. I remember watching the 1990 Super Bowl with the San Francisco 49ers and the Denver Broncos(mind you, this was the Super Bowl following the 89 season). San Fran came unglued on the Broncos, allowing them only 10 points while cramming 55 down their throats. I was amazed. Joe Montana operated in a manner I’d never seen from another athlete. He was amazing. I didn’t really understand all the rules at that point, but it didn’t matter. The Niners put on a show.
Fast forward to 1996. The Green Bay Packers had developed a machine on offense, starring names like Antonio Freeman, Mark Chmura, Dorsey Levens, and Mr. Wrangler Jeans himself, Brett Favre. I watched the Packers roll over the Niners, the Carolina Panthers, and in the end solidly beat the New England Patriots. I cheered for the Pack, since my Indianapolis Colts were put out in the first round by the Pittsburgh Steelers(who were later defeated by the Jacksonville Jaguars). I was happy to see a guy like Brett Favre win his first of what many expected to be multiple Super Bowl rings.
Favre had some rough times in the few years to follow. He lost his father in 2003, his brother-in-law in 2004 in an ATV accident, and his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, also in 2004. 2005 held a different disaster for the Favre family as Hurricane Katrina destroyed his Mississippi ho-me. No one blamed Brett when he chose to end his career in 2006 following a lackluster 8-8 finish, ending 2nd in the NFC North and missing the playoffs for only the 4th time in Brett’s then 15 year career.
But he came back. Green Bay fans were elated, and I admit, even I was somewhat excited to see the old gunslinger come back to his team, and lead them to the NFC Championship against the Eli Manning led New York Giants. When New York beat the Packers in Green Bay, everyone knew that Brett’s career would again be over. Brett retired again, and even decided not to play in the Pro Bowl he was elected to by the fans that year.
But… he didn’t stay gone.
I really started getting irritated with Brett when he decided in July of 2008 he wanted to come back. Again. The Packers fans who were on his side for his first comeback seemed almost annoyed by Brett’s second false retirement. He was officially reinstated August 4, 2008. The Packers, committed to moving forward with their new quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, didn’t want Brett anymore. He tried to leverage a trade to division rivals, the Minnesota Vikings. Green Bay wouldn’t have it, instead sending the old man to the New York Jets for a draft pick.
Something happened that had never happened to me before. I booed Brett Favre. Favre started out the 2008 season leading the Jets to an 8-3 record to start the season, compiling 20 touchdowns and 13 interceptions on the way. The last 5 games of the season, however, Brett imploded, throwing only 2 touchdowns to 8 interceptions.
Favre retired again.
Let me break from facts for just a moment to say that when Brett retired, I don’t think anyone at all with any interest in the NFL considered for a second that he was done. Good thing we didn’t.
IN AUGUST OF 2009 THIS SON OF A BITCH CAME BACK AGAIN TO SIGN WITH THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS. Brett waited until all of the hard work of training camp was over, waited until the middle of the preseason, walked in, and snatched the starting QB job out from under Sage Rosenfels and Tavaris Jackson. This bastard was brought by the GM of the Vikings to the stadium when he first landed in Minnesota.
As of time of writing, Minnesota has put together an 11-2 record. They’re currently the number two projected seed in the NFC playoff bracket, only behind the New Orleans Saints at 13-0. Brett is playing decently, staying out of trouble as long as he’s only MANAGING games. When he tries to win them, he’s looked bad.
Brett Favre, for his “I’m done no I’m not yes I am no I’m not well trade me then I’m done no I’m not I think I’ll go sign into a perfect situation that will make me look like a hero” stunt he’s pulled over the last few years has earned, in the first ever tygr20.com “Punch In The Face” awards:
5 out of 5 punches in the face.
Join me later this weekend, or maybe next week, when the topic of discussion is Matthew Lesko, aka the Riddler’s bastard son.
EDIT:
5 wasn’t enough.
