Dreams are weird, weird happenings in life.
I’m a bit foggy about the details, but I’m going to try to convey them as best I can.
So. I’m at a Sam’s Club… but it’s more like a KMart. Make sense? Good. I’m walking in the doors, and there’s a newspaper rack talking about a ring of pageant girls being manipulated by Scientologists. I’m still not sure how they were being manipulated, but regardless- Scientology = evil = I’m sure it wasn’t good. ANYWAY.
I finish my shopping at Sam’s, and I head on home. Mind you, I live on a small city street, the kind that doesn’t see traffic that isn’t coming to someone’s house. Not in this dream. Instead I lived out in the country, in the same house. I’m coming down my road to find an enormous RV parked in front of my house. I don’t know anyone with an RV, so this is a pretty good shock to me.
I get out of the car, and lo and behold- it’s Rorschach! And Lu! With a giant RV! Seriously. Like- giant. The Chrysler Building on wheels. Anyway. Ror’s looking for someplace to hook up his water on the trailer and some electricity to mooch for a day or two. Sure! Use mine! Let’s go… back… to Sam’s Club?
We (me, my wife, Ror, and Lu) hop into my car which does NOT comfortably seat 4 people, but this time it manages to. It’s a dream. We head on up to the Sam’s Club, and as we’re walking in, I make mention to everyone the headline I read about the Scientologists and their manipulation of the pageant girls.
This is when it gets weird.
Rorschach picks up the same paper I had looked at before and tells me I misread the headline. New headline? “Scientologists Now Available At Sam’s Club!”
Ok. Let’s recap up to this point: Shopping at Sam’s Club, Scientologists are manipulating little pageant girls, giant RV, back to Sam’s with two Unfiction friends who I’ve never actually met, Scientologists for sale.
We’re strolling through the store when I notice these cages with people dressed in black, marked with prices like “$7.99!” “ROLLBACK $14.32!” “Buy in Bulk and Save! 4 for $23.53!” We begin discussing what these Scientologists would be good for, when we also see a “101 Best Uses For Your New Scientologist” book. Apparently, the top uses are:
- Barbecue spit holders
- A place to hang your hammock
- Live target practice
- ?????
- Bookshelves
Rorschach decided on the 4 pack.
There is a huge blur at this point in the dream, and the next thing I remember is Ror asking for a gallon of water for the road. He and Lu hopped back in the RV, and they were gone.
And then my daughter told me she needed her milk, and to “get up, daddy!” I woke up.
~Fin~
(Not much of an ending, I know- but that’s how it all happened. Weird ass dreams.)
